


Cowboy Casanova

by msred



Series: Puckleberry Shuffle [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: Carrie Underwood - Freeform, F/M, Klaine, college Rachel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 10:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msred/pseuds/msred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's a good time cowboy Casanova/Leaning up against the record machine/He looks like a cool drink of water/But he's candy coated misery/He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes/And he only comes out at night/Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight/You better run for your life"</p><p>Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine had decided that since they were all going back home for Thanksgiving, it made a lot more sense to drive there in Rachel's little hybrid than to spend all that money to fly. Besides, if they were all going, the 10-hour drive would feel much more like a road trip and much less like a chore. So when Rachel had found out in September, before she knew how vapid her roommate truly was, that Katie's parents weren't exactly the 'family time' type and had planned a trip to Europe for the holidays, Rachel immediately invited Katie along for the trip. She was very much regretting that now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cowboy Casanova

**Cowboy Casanova – Carrie Underwood ~ {www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=oM7NQQ0Lfu4}**

" ** _You better take it from me,  
That boy is like a disease," _** Rachel gripped her roommate's shoulder and stared at her sternly, trying to get her point across. Because her eyes never left Katie's face, it was impossible to miss the way the blonde's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Wait … he, he has a …?"

Kurt huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes, shooting Rachel a quick look. He knew, because he'd heard the actual words so many times, that her look back at him said, _"I can't help it if my roommate is a clueless bimbo."_ He ignored her and quickly waved his hands in front of his chest, trying to signal to Katie that she had misunderstood. "No sweetie. He doesn't _have_ a disease. Rachel said he _is_ disease. As in, he'll do bad things to you and you'll feel awful afterward." Kurt sent a scolding look in Rachel's direction, but she only rolled her eyes and shrugged.

Rachel wasn't exactly sure why Kurt had been giving her dirty looks ever since she had started trying to talk Katie down. It wasn't her fault that the girl had turned off her brain and turned on her hormones, as usual. As soon as this ridiculous business was settled, she would have to have a talk with him about being a good friend and supporting her when she was so obviously right. Really, why she should be further punished for electronically drawing the short straw from the roommate pool?

**_You're runnin, you're tryin', you're trying to hide  
And you're wondering why you can't get free  
He's like a curse he's like a drug.  
You get addicted to his love.  
You wanna get out but he's holding you down  
'Cause you can't live without one more touch. _ **

Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine had decided that since they were all going back home for Thanksgiving, it made a lot more sense to drive there in Rachel's little hybrid than to spend all that money to fly. Besides, if they were all going, the 10-hour drive would feel much more like a road trip and much less like a chore. So when Rachel had found out in September, before she knew how vapid her roommate truly was, that Katie's parents weren't exactly the 'family time' type and had planned a trip to Europe for the holidays, Rachel immediately invited Katie along for the trip. She was very much regretting that now.

"I don't understand Rachel. He's just so … yummy." Katie giggled and stared over her shoulder at the bar's stage, still watching the mohawked man strumming out stray notes on his guitar. By that point, Rachel was annoyed with everyone and everything in her life. She had told Kurt and Blaine, she had warned them! It was a bad idea to go to a bar underage, even if Mercedes's oldest brother did run it and promised to let them in and watch their backs as long as they were on their best behavior. And Rachel was right. If they had just stayed home and watched movies like she suggested, she wouldn't be running interference between her new roommate and her former nemesis. This was not the way she wanted to spend the weekend before Thanksgiving, her first weekend back in Lima since she had left for school in August.

"Katie." Rachel cupped the girl's chin in her hand and snapped her fingers in front of her face. " _Katie!_ " She finally gave Rachel at least part of her attention. "Let me explain this to you. Puck," Rachel rolled her eyes at the confused look on her roommate's face, "guitar guy," she sighed as Katie smiled and nodded, "is not a nice guy. He's not what you want. All the girls think he's great at first. Sure, he looks great, and he's got some great lines, but before you know it, you'll be miserable and all you'll want is to get away from him but you won't be able to because you'll be … addicted." Rachel stopped talking and sucked in a deep breath. Kurt stared at her, a little wide-eyed, as she tried to regain her composure.

"Come on Rach," Katie's voice was starting to put Rachel on edge.

Rachel gritted her teeth and gripped the back of Blaine's chair to look across the table to where Katie and Kurt sat. She hadn't even been able to sit yet because she was working so hard to save her roommate from the disaster that was inevitable if she went after Puck.

"We're only in town for a week," Rachel braced herself as Katie continued. "I don't really think you need to worry about me getting 'addicted.'" Yeah, _now_ she uses the air quotes correctly. "How bad could it be?"

Rachel scoffed so violently that she almost snorted, this girl had no idea how bad it would be, and looked to Kurt for back-up. The only problem was, Kurt was looking at her as if she had just grown an extra head or something. His eyes were wide and his jaw was almost on the floor. He almost looked … _offended_ … by what she was saying about Puck. Well, that was fine. She was already convincing Katie to stay away from Puck, it wouldn't be any harder to convince Kurt that Katie should stay away from Puck. "Alright Katie, you really want me to spell it out for you?" Katie lifted one eyebrow and pursed her lips, almost making Rachel want to give up her plan and drag Katie home by her hair. "Well, for the first two years of our high school career, he spent his days alternating between throwing Kurt in the school's dumpsters," she looked at Kurt sympathetically to see that he looked only slightly less annoyed with her, "and throwing slushies at me. If you'd like, I'll show you my collection of stained sweaters and training bras when we get home." She saw the look Katie was giving Kurt and Blaine. "No Katie, I don't _really_ have a collection. I didn't keep them. I was being sarcastic to prove a point."

Katie's shoulders heaved as she breathed a sigh of relief. She liked Rachel, and she was a great roommate, quite the mom-type, but sometimes she just needed to let go. It wouldn't have surprised her all that much if Rachel really did have those things from high school. "Rachel, I get it, he's not the nicest guy, not the boyfriend type."

Rachel gritted her teeth again (this vacation was going to cost her a trip to the dentist) and dropped into the chair beside Blaine. In addition to Katie's apparent obsession with Puck, Rachel was now also starting to get annoyed with her refusal to listen. They had only been roommates for a few months so far, but already Rachel had saved this girl more times than she could count. It made absolutely no sense that she wouldn't listen when it was obvious that Rachel knew better than her.

"But I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm just looking for … a _good time._ And _he_ " Katie smirked and nodded her head toward Puck, "looks like he really knows how to show a girl a good time." Katie looked back toward the stage just quickly enough to miss the way Rachel gripped the tabletop until her knuckles were white.

**_He's a good time cowboy Casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
He looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight  
You better run for your life_ **

"What's up everybody?" The typical bar sounds – talking, loud laughter, glasses and bottles clanking – quieted as nearly everyone in the crowd turned their attention to the stage. Even if he hadn't been speaking into a microphone that allowed his voice to override all the music that was previously being pumped through the bar, Puck's presence demanded attention. He stood in the middle of the small stage, and though he spoke into the microphone, his hands didn't touch the stand or the microphone itself. Instead, they were shoved casually into his pockets and his guitar strap ran over one shoulder and under the other arm so that his guitar was slung diagonally across his back. His height required him to slouch and duck his head slightly in order to speak into the microphone, but it didn't seem forced or uncomfortable. On him, the stance just looked natural. "Got some bad news for any of you who showed up tonight to see the band. They ditched me." He smirked at the chorus of groans and 'awwws' that met his statement. "Yeah I know. They suck. Anyway, as awesome and badass as I am, I don't think any of you want to listen to me stand up here and play an entire acoustic set all by my lonesome for the next two hours. That would be kind of a buzzkill." His smirk grew and his eyes twinkled when the groans and protests grew even louder. This was it – this was what he was meant for. Puck had never been more in his element than when he was on a stage, asshole band mates or no. "I'm not gonna leave ya completely high and dry. I do have one classic in my back pocket that, well, I'm pretty awesome at. A real crowd pleaser." Puck shot a wink, paired with a slightly lecherous smirk, in the direction of his old friends and their new friend before pulling his guitar in front of him and strumming his fingers over the strings once.

Rachel and Blaine had turned in their chairs to face the stage when Puck began speaking. Blaine turned back to face Kurt and Katie as soon as Puck's fingers touched the first guitar string, but Rachel kept her eyes trained on her former classmate. Katie, still hoping to convince her friend that there was nothing to worry about, placed one hand on Rachel's arm and the other on Kurt's before she squealed, "Did you see that? Did you see him wink at me?" Kurt patted her hand gently and spoke to her as he would to a 10-year-old, trying to tell her to back off without actually telling her.

Katie didn't seem to notice that Rachel still hadn't responded until she felt her friend's arm tense under her touch just as Puck played the opening notes of the song and began to sing. "Come on Rach. Don't be mad. I'm a big girl, I promise, I can take care of myself." Finally, Rachel turned to face her friends, a deep crimson covering every visible inch of skin from her collarbone to the top of her head.

Kurt eyed Rachel warily, hoping she wouldn't demand to leave the bar right that instant. Even he had to admit that Puck wasn't choosing the smartest route if he really did want to get with Katie that night, as Katie was so eager to believe. He knew Puck wasn't blind or stupid, especially when it came to arranging a hook-up, and he knew that Puck had noticed the attention Katie had been giving him. And Rachel was nowhere near subtle, so if Puck had noticed Katie, Kurt knew he had to have noticed the steam coming out of Rachel's ears as well.

If the blonde noticed the renewed determination on Rachel's face, she didn't let on. "You know, he said this song was a classic, but it can't be that great, because I've never even heard it before," Katie spoke to her friends, but her eyes never left the stage. "I mean, what does he consider a classic? Like, 10 years? Because that's just old."

Blaine threw an arm around Rachel's shoulders in what he hoped was a nonchalant attempt to keep her from coming out of her chair and across the table. "Are you serious?" Rachel screeched, keeping her voice down the best she could so as not to disturb any other patron's listening experience. "How do you not know 'Sweet Caroline?' It's Neil Diamond, a musical Jewish icon!"

"Umm, I'm not Jewish?" Wrong answer, Katie.

"Well, _he_ ," Rachel jerked her thumb toward the stage, "is. One more reason you should stay away from him. How would your sweet, Catholic mother feel?" Katie giggled in response.

"Yeah, Rach, I don't think I'll be telling my mom about any of this."

"And shouldn't that tell you something? I mean, if you're ashamed to tell your mother, and _believe me_ , if you hooked up with Puck, you would have plenty to be ashamed about, then it's probably something you shouldn't be doing." The words came out in a rush, almost jumbled together. "And not only would you be ashamed, you would be hurt, broken. Let me say this again, nothing good will come out of you pursuing him. You will most definitely end up on the short side of this stick, and that's not something I want for you. Please just listen to me, Katie."

Katie sighed and let her shoulders drop in what appeared to be defeat for only a moment. "I have to go to the little girls' room. I'll be back." She seemed to recover quickly, and she shot each of her companions a smile and flounced to the restroom in the back of the bar.

"Geez!" Rachel erupted as soon as her roommate was out of earshot, slamming her hands on top of the table. "What will it take for her to just let it go already?" Before either of the boys had a chance to respond, she twisted her body slightly so that she could keep one eye on the stage.

"You know Rach," Kurt started, pushing away from the table a little so that he was out of her reach, "I'm not sure why you're so adamant about this. I mean, like Katie said, she's a big girl. If this is something she really wants, that's her choice." He decided that backing away had been a really good idea, because she seemed to have forgotten that the object of her loathing was on-stage behind her and she was currently shooting daggers at Kurt with her eyes. He figured she couldn't possibly get any more angry with him, so this was as good a time as any to move on to his next point. "And besides, I don't get why you're ragging so hard on Puck right now. I mean, I get that you guys have a troubled past, but if I can move on, then surely you can. I think that maybe you're being a little unfair to him. Will he and Katie be the loves of each other's lives? Probably not." He saw the anger on her face deepen more than he thought possible. "Ok, fine, definitely not. And yeah, this little 'Sweet Caroline' stunt was kind of low. But come on, he's not like, abusive or anything, he's not even really a man-whore anymore. And when Katie says she just wants a good time, I'm inclined to believe her."

Rachel opened her mouth to deliver her very well thought out, very long rebuttal to Kurt's argument, but she saw Katie heading back toward their table. "Like I've maintained Kurt, if she goes after Puck, very bad things will happen. She will regret it. Just trust me on this one," she said instead.

**_I see that look on your face  
You ain't hearing what I say  
So I'll say it again 'cause I've been where you've been  
And I know how it ends, you can't get away  
Don't even look in his eyes  
He'll tell you nothing but lies  
And you wanna believe, but you won't be deceived  
If you listen to me and take my advice_ **

Once Katie returned to the table, Rachel didn't even give her a chance to _look_ at Puck before she started in again, naming off more of the evils that were Noah Puckerman. "Look, Katie, you know I'm just looking out for you." Rachel saw the wounded-puppy look on her friend's face as she continued. "I'm not trying to be mean or ruin your fun. You're my friend, and I worry about you."

"You know Rach, I know you like to think you're all miss perfect and everything," Katie started, a little louder than necessary, shocking Rachel so that her mouth snapped shut before she could say another word, "but this high and mighty bit is getting a little old. What about that time last month you disappeared on me for a whole weekend with no warning whatsoever?" Rachel started to defend herself, but Katie continued, cutting her off. "Yeah yeah," Katie waved her hand flippantly at Rachel and rolled her eyes, "mid-terms, studying, blah blah blah. But who rents a hotel for that? I would have been respectful of you if you had just talked to me about it. You know that." Katie watched as Rachel dropped her eyes and blushed. She reached across the table to place a hand over Rachel's. She really wasn't trying to make her feel bad. "But the point is, you scared me that time, and I worried about you too. This isn't a one-way street. We're friends. Equals. So just give me a break here, k?"

Rachel turned to look at her older friends for back-up, but apparently Kurt had slipped off to the restroom or somewhere at some point, because the only support she had was Blaine. Her eyes pleaded with him to say something, anything, to back her up. She didn't get much, though. Blaine was much better than Kurt at being objective, and instead of automatically taking Rachel's side just because she had been his friend longer than Katie had, he smirked back at her. They both knew that Katie had a point, but Rachel was nowhere near willing to admit that the two situations were even close to being the same. So she only huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, out of words for a few moments.

Rachel saw Kurt returning to the table and decided that it was time; she was going to have to pull out the big guns. And she knew that no matter how surprisingly Kurt had been acting in reference to her feelings about Katie wanting to go after Puck ( _seriously, why was he not supporting her more?)_ , he would have to back her up on this part. He couldn't deny the facts.

"Fine Katie. You know what, I didn't want to say this, because I don't want to just sound … _vindictive_ , or _petty_ or whatever, but here goes. Sophomore year of high school? Puck got his best friend's girlfriend pregnant." Rachel heard Kurt gasp just a little. "And if I hadn't figured it out and revealed their betrayal, neither of them would have ever told the truth about the situation. Now how is that for a _good time_?" Rachel noted with satisfaction the way Katie's jaw dropped. "And then," Rachel continued, ready to drive the final nail into the coffin of Puck and Katie's potential union, "the next year, he turned around, after mostly making up with his friend, and made out with his friend's _new_ girlfriend, bringing an end to that relationship as well."

Rachel looked to Kurt smugly, expecting him to confirm everything she had just said. Instead, she saw shock on his face and could read in his eyes that he was only seconds away from calling her out for her hypocrisy in bringing up that particular situation. She silently pleaded with him not to say anything, and she figured she must have finally gotten through to him when she watched him close his eyes and shake his head almost sadly.

"So Katie," she continued, almost solemnly, "please, listen to my advice. I know this man."

**_He's a good time cowboy Casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
He looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight  
You better run for your life _ **

Katie turned to watch the musician where he now stood by the jukebox, a beer in one hand and the other scrolling half-heartedly through the machine's selections. She was trying to take everything that Rachel had said to heart, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that this boy knew his way around more than just a guitar. He had just turned in their direction and she was getting ready to send him her most enticing smile when she felt the table shift under her arms. She had to tear her eyes away from him to stop her drink from spilling all over her due to the movement. Once her drink was stable, her eyes shifted to where Rachel was standing and bouncing excitedly in front of her chair, her hip still occasionally brushing the table. Well, at least she knew it wasn't an earthquake that made it move.

"Sam!" Rachel called out and waved excitedly to the blonde man who had just walked in the door. Once she had his attention, Rachel ran to her friend and threw her arms around his neck. Both laughing, Rachel looped an arm through his and led him back to their table, where Blaine was already pulling up a fifth chair.

Katie wondered a little about this new man. She couldn't recall having heard Rachel talk about a 'Sam' (or any other guy) before, but he was cute, and Rachel certainly seemed happy to see him. Katie hoped that maybe this boy was just the distraction that she needed to get Rachel off her back about a certain other man. As Rachel began to introduce Katie to Sam, practically gushing over him, Katie shifted her eyes back toward the object of her affection (or _lust_ , you know, whatever) in time to see what looked like anger, or at least irritation, cross his handsome features. He then turned away to again distract himself with the music.

Rachel had never been so happy to see Sam; he couldn't have arrived at a better moment. As soon as they were all seated again, she leaned over to speak closely into Katie's ear. "So," she began, practically trembling with excitement, "what do you think about Sam?" Rachel grinned as she shifted her eyes to watch as Sam told some story that had both Kurt and Blaine laughing loudly.

"Huh?" Katie was more than a little confused. She couldn't stop sneaking glances toward the jukebox, but she was disappointed every time to see that the reason for her distraction still had not turned his attention back their way. "Oh, right. Sam. He's cute Rach. You guys are cute."

Rachel wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms over her chest. "Us? What? No!" She rolled her eyes and reached out to grab Katie's hand, grinning conspiratorially. "I meant, _for you_. I really think you'd like him."

Katie sighed. She should have known. And yeah, ok, it's not like there was anything wrong with Sam. She was telling the truth when she told Rachel he was cute. And he seemed perfectly pleasant. But she had just had her heart set on someone … _darker_. She pretended to listen as Rachel went on and on about how great Sam was and how much fun Katie would have with him. She knew what Rachel was doing, and she was torn between her stubbornness – not wanting Rachel to win – and her desire to just shut Rachel up. Finally, Katie gave in and let Rachel draw her into a conversation with Sam. And alright, it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was kind of nice. He was a little geeky in a weird sci-fi kind of way, but he was also cute about it, so she didn't really mind. And he was nice, and definitely interested, and he said a lot of really sweet things that made her feel pretty great. And while his mouth didn't give her the kinds of dirty thoughts that someone else's did, his wide smile and full lips certainly looked plenty kissable. Sending one more glance in toward the jukebox, Katie saw that Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Broodingly-Handsome was still avoiding looking in their direction, so she decided she might as well give in to Rachel's match-making.

"I'm sorry," Sam apologized as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He sighed as he looked at the display. "It's my brother," he looked at Katie, then his friends, apologetically before standing, "I'll be right back."

Rachel watched as Sam left the bar, wishing that Katie looked as disappointed as Rachel felt. They really seemed to be hitting things off; this phone call couldn't have come at a worse time. "So how's it going?" She tried not to sound too desperate or needy.

"Rach," Katie breathed, almost warningly.

"Come on Katie. You know I'm just looking out for you here." Rachel looked at her friend pleadingly and smiled a little when she saw the acceptance on her face. "And right now, I'm telling you to run to Sam, to run away from Puck." Katie looked at her like she was a little more crazy than usual. "I mean it. Run for your life."

**_Run, run, run away don't let him mess with your mind  
He'll tell you anything you wanna hear  
He'll break your heart it's just a matter of time  
But just remember-_ **

"Katie, I'm serious, go now. Get out of here. It's the best thing you can do." Rachel felt like she was so close. Just one more little push, and she would have Katie walking out the front door hand-in-hand with Sam.

Katie still looked hesitant, having noticed that the hot singer had again turned his attentions in their direction. And he seemed to be smiling at her as he talked to the bartender who had just appeared at his side. She appreciated that her roommate wanted to protect her, but Rachel was a worrier, and quite frankly, a prude. She felt that anything Rachel said about this guy should be taken with a grain of salt, if that. "I don't know Rach. I mean, Sam's cute and all, but that," she glanced back over her shoulder to where Puck was still leaning against the jukebox and smirking in their direction, "that _Park_ guy …"

"It's _Puck,_ Katie." Rachel was trying really hard here not to lose her temper with the girl. How could she insist that she just had to go home with him when she couldn't even get his name right? Sam really needed to get off the phone and back inside so he could get back to charming Katie and distracting her from Puck.

"Yeah, right. Anyway, Sam's … adorable. But Puck, I mean, _come on._ Look at him." Rachel rolled her eyes. She didn't need to look. She was plenty familiar with the view.

Finally. Sam had walked back in, and he was definitely eyeing Katie. Rachel stood from her seat at the table, smiling broadly, and waved him back over. "Look, Katie," Rachel was grasping for straws now, willing to do just about anything to make sure Katie didn't go over and try to get herself mixed up with Puck. There was no way that would not end horribly. "For the last time. All it will take is one word, and trust me, you will regret it. You might think he looks great, but this will not end well for you. But you know what, Sam's cute. You just said so yourself. And he's a good, good guy."

Katie still looked skeptical. "In fact, he's such a good guy, you can go back to my house." Katie's eyes lit up a little. Rachel knew that would strike a chord with her. No matter how _friendly_ Katie was, she still didn't like going back to the guy's place. It scared her. (As it should. Rachel didn't understand those stupid girls who would go home with guys they had just met.) So, Rachel's offer would certainly do a lot to boost Sam into the lead. "You can go right now and get Sam to take you back to my place, and you guys will have the entire basement all to yourselves. My dads are still out of town until Wednesday, and I promise you that as long as you keep your escapades behind that closed basement door, you'll get no interference from me."

It took all Rachel had not to grin, because she could see that she was winning Katie over for Sam. "And you know what, Sam can stay the night, I know how you love to cuddle." Both girls giggled; Rachel usually got stuck being the 'little spoon' in that arrangement during the school week. "And then in the morning, Kurt and Blaine can come over, and I'll make us all breakfast. And Sam will still be there to eat with us, because that's the guy he is."

Game. Set. Match. Katie had stopped looking for Puck, who had disappeared sometime during Rachel's speech, and had kept her eyes locked on Sam as he talked to Blaine about the game they planned to watch at the Hummels' on Thursday. He didn't seem to mind when Katie interrupted their guy-talk, and about three minutes later, Katie and Sam were exiting the bar together.

Rachel could finally breathe easy again. And if she just happened to shoot Sam a text pointing out that her basement was equipped with her dads' new 3-D tv and that one of the two 3-D dvds they owned at that point was "Avatar," who could blame her? She was a good friend, but she couldn't just have them going and violating her house.

"I can't believe you said all those things about Puck." Kurt pulled Rachel out of her own little world, and she saw that he was looking at her like she just kicked his puppy or something. She turned to Blaine, who watched her with an expression she couldn't quite place. He didn't seem as upset with her as his boyfriend was, but the look he was giving her felt a little like disappointment with a bit of something else _(what was that, suspicion, maybe?)_ mixed in.

"I thought you were over hating him, Rachel." Kurt continued, clearly not ready to let it go. "I thought you guys were kind of like, friends, or something now. How could you say that stuff?"

"Was any of it a lie?" Rachel challenged him, taking a sip of her drink.

"Well … no. But it wasn't exactly the truth either. I mean, not the truth about who he is. Not anymore at least." Now it was Kurt's turn to be annoyed. Not only had Rachel just spent the entire night saying horrible things about someone who may not have always been the best guy, but had ended up being a really good friend to both of them, but now she wasn't even listening to him. She was just staring off toward the back of the bar over Kurt's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Kurt. I have to go to the restroom. I'll be back." She jumped from the table as she patted Kurt quickly on the hand and smiled briefly at Blaine. Kurt shook his head and mumbled under his breath as she walked away. Blaine simply smirked and watched her go.

"Can you believe -," Kurt started, but he was cut off by a scream from the direction of the door.

"Kurt! Blaine!" Brittany waved and jumped like a six-year-old who was seeing her best friend for the first time in months. (Ok, so maybe they should have expected that.) Santana sauntered behind her, sneering at her surroundings as if she were too cool to be in such a place.

"Hey Britts! Tana." At least the appearance of the girls would brighten his mood and take his mind off of Rachel's bizarre behavior that evening.

"Where's Rachel? I thought she was with you guys." Or not.

"Oh, she's here Britts. She just went to the restroom. She should be back any minute." Brittany and Santana took their seats at the table while Blaine waved over the one waitress they had been instructed to order from that night. "Umm, what's up San?" Kurt had noticed that although Santana had joined them at the table, her attention was definitely not on her friends. She was scanning the room as if she were looking for something, or someone, specific.

"What's the deal? Puckerman promised me live music. I don't even see his ass. He better not have ditched me. No offense to you guys, but I don't think I can take a night with Berry without a bigger buffer."

"No offense taken." Kurt waved off Santana's almost-insult. "But yeah, he's here too. Somewhere. He was over by the jukebox, but I haven't seen him in a little while. He did let you down on the live music part though. Well, _he_ didn't, exactly. His band didn't show up." Santana groaned and rolled her eyes, mumbling something in Spanish, so Kurt continued trying to defend his friend. _(And really, when did he become Puck's knight in shining armor?)_ "If you had been her earlier you would have gotten to hear 'Sweet Caroline.' He was good, probably even better than that time in glee." Kurt stopped, only to be hit with another thought. "You know, it wasn't long after that he went awol." Blaine turned his attention from the waitress back to his boyfriend, a fleeting look of panic crossing his features. The others didn't seem to notice.

It was quiet for a few moments while Blaine accepted the fresh round and thanked the waitress. "Wait." Everyone turned to Santana, who had just spoken for the first time since receiving her drink, which she had already downed. "So Puckerman's here _somewhere_ , but you guys haven't talked to him, am I right?" Kurt and Blaine both nodded. "But now he's gone MIA. After singing 'Sweet Fucking Caroline.' At right about the same time Berry went to go pee-pee, or tinkle, or whatever the fuck she does?" Blaine stifled a laugh and Kurt nodded again. "Seriously, guys?" Santana crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the boys. Finally, Kurt seemed to get what she was implying. He groaned and dropped his head to the table. Blaine only smirked and took a draw from his beer.

**_He's a good time cowboy Casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
He looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight  
You better run for your life_ **

Rachel slipped down the narrow hall that led to the restrooms, hoping she wasn't too late. She smirked to herself and thanked God for the concert flyer that had apparently distracted him long enough for her to catch up before he could slip back out into the bar. Without a word, she slipped behind him and circled one small hand around his wrist. She took advantage of his surprise, tugging his arm as he shifted his weight onto one foot to spin toward the stranger grabbing at him. Pulling him insistently toward the women's restroom (no way was she going anywhere near the men's), Rachel heard the beginning of an objection, followed quickly by a deep chuckle. Confident that Puck wasn't going anywhere, she released her hold on him and charged into the restroom, looking around to make sure it was empty. When she was satisfied that they would be alone in the small space, she turned back to Puck and grabbed a handful of his shirt just below his collarbone, pulling him into the room.

More than a little surprised, Puck followed Rachel's lead, keeping an eye on her and turning to back up to the sink as she turned away from him to throw the deadbolt. He would have to be blind not to appreciate the view before him. Kurt had obviously dressed her, in her roommate's clothes, from the looks of it. Starting at her feet (the best way to look at Rachel had always been to start at the bottom and work up, those legs were just too much not to savor), the first thing he noticed were her insanely high heels. He had no idea how she could walk in those things, but he wasn't complaining. Those shoes made her legs, the next part of her to get his attention, look 10 feet long. But for probably the first time ever, he didn't linger on her legs, because as his eyes moved farther up, they _finally_ hit the dress. The garment was covered in sequins and stones in varying shades of gray and silver, forming waves and geometric shapes that almost made it look as if the dress were moving even when Rachel wasn't. The funny thing was, the countless sequins had nothing to do with why that dress had turned every head in the bar that night from the moment she walked in the door. No, that was thanks to the fact that the dress, if it could really be called that, stopped only an inch or so from the lower curve of her ass. Puck had to bite his lip when the thought crossed his mind that if she were to stretch her arms over her head, he would have a clear view of whatever was under that dress. _Is it too much to hope for nothing?_ It was really quite ironic that her arms were completely covered by fabric and sequins, since the dress was obviously not made for cold weather.

"Rachel, what are you doing?" He knew she could hear his smile through his voice. A deep breath and a second later she was again facing him and quickly closing the gap between their bodies. Before Puck quite knew what was happening, she was pressed against him and fumbling with the buttons of his plaid shirt. ( _Shut up, it was like, badass-sexy-plaid, not like, Finn-trucker-plaid._ ) "Berry," he drawled, almost reproachfully. "This is a women's restroom, you're like, a theatre star, and our friends are out there." He was supposed to sound critical, but the smirk on his lips and in his eyes contradicted that in a second.

"The door is locked," he hadn't even touched her yet and she was panting, gasping for air between words, "I'm not a star yet," although earning the lead in an off-Broadway production as a freshman at NYU was a great start, "and our friends are drunk." She had reached the bottom button and her stomach jumped a little when she finally noticed that for reasons she didn't understand or care about, he wasn't wearing an undershirt for once. "Now kiss me."

Puck was more than happy to obey, and he was even happier when her hands snaked up his stomach and over his shoulders to push the shirt down over his arms. "I don't care if your idiot band members bailed on you," she didn't even back away, speaking against his lips as he continued to kiss and nip at hers, "you are still my man and you are so damn sexy to me." He couldn't argue with that, any more than he could argue with a cursing Rachel Berry (he learned a long time ago that cursing Rachel equals horny Rachel, and who was he to fuck that up?). And holy shit, the way her hands roamed his body, seeming to touch 10 different places all at once, why would he argue with that?

Well, if he wasn't going to stop her, the only other option was to help her out. When his shirt had landed in a blue plaid puddle on the floor and Rachel's arms had wrapped firmly around his neck, he decided it was his turn to have some control in this little game. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her just enough to move her without any resistance from the floor, not stopping until her back was pressed against the wooden door of one of the two stalls in the rest room. He removed one arm from her body and rested his palm flat against the door just above her head, bracing his weight to make sure he didn't get too eager and accidentally slam her against the door or something. The other arm remained hooked firmly around her waist, pulling her hips insistently against his.

She must have been even more hungry for him than he had thought, because while her right arm stayed looped across his shoulders, her nails scraping across his skin, her left hand flailed wildly above her head, searching for anything to grab onto for support. She found only the flat plane of the door. Finally realizing she wouldn't get anywhere with that endeavor, Rachel gave up and dropped her arm back to his shoulders and resumed her apparent quest to touch every square inch of his body before leaving that room.

Puck knew that if there had ever been any chance of them stopping, it flew out the window right about the time she hooked her right leg up over his hip. Without even looking down – it had been too long and it felt too good and he just couldn't keep his eyes open to save his life – he knew that tiny little dress really wasn't covering anything anymore. That thought made his arousal for her grow even more (which he hadn't thought possible), and he knew she had felt it when she dropped her head back and let out a barely audible moan. And that was just too much. He dropped his hands so that each one landed behind one of her knees, instantly pulling her left leg up to match her right one and rest on his hip. Almost without thinking, he slid his hands up the backs of her thighs and under that tiny thing she called a dress to cup her ass. And yeah, apparently it was too much to ask for there to be nothing under there, but if that thing she was wearing was _barely a dress,_ then the strip of lace under it was _not quite underwear_ , so apparently it wasn't MUCH too much.

He pressed his body a little harder against hers, supporting her weight between himself and the door so that he could move his hands to caress her face. Yeah, it had been over a month since he had been with his girl, and yeah, they were about to get it on in a public restroom, but just for a minute he needed to slow it down, he had to. So he slid his hands up her body and he didn't stop until they ran over her shoulders to cradle either side of her neck, sliding his thumbs back and forth across her jaw. This time when his mouth met hers, it was slow, and tender, and so full of emotion. And even though that only lasted a few seconds before they were once again feverish with desire, their teeth and tongues clashing in a battle for dominance and their hands roaming over skin and tearing at clothing, he knew she got it. They both got it. This wasn't just a fuck in a public restroom. This was Rachel and Noah, and distance be damned, they were gonna make this thing work.

**_Oh you better run for your life,  
Oh you better run for your life_ **

"Jesus H. baby, not that I'm complaining or anything, but what's gotten into you?" Puck's shirt was back over his arms and shoulders but not buttoned, and Rachel's fingers trailed lazily over his bare chest as she sat on his lap on the bathroom floor. She had thrown a fit, ranting on about the evils to be found on a nasty public restroom floor, but his shirt had already been down there, and he really didn't give a shit about his jeans either. Besides, his legs were certainly weak after their little encounter, and he figured hers were too, so he just dropped down and grabbed her hips, pulling her down onto his lap so that nothing but her feet were actually touching the floor.

"You mean besides you?" She smirked at him and he groaned, digging his fingers into her hips a little tighter. "Come on Noah, 'Sweet Caroline,' really?"

Puck wiggled his eyebrows at her and leaned forward to nibble lightly at her earlobe. ( _Neil Diamond is a fucking GOD.)_ He pulled away when he felt her begin to squirm, because well, as much fun as it had been the first time around, he knew they couldn't really stay in the bathroom for round two. "So what're you gonna do now? Run for your life?" He didn't even try to hide the snicker that followed his words.

Her eyes got big for just a moment before she dropped her face into the curve where his neck met his shoulder so that he couldn't see her. He felt her embarrassment burning against his bare skin and that only made him laugh harder. "I didn't … I was trying … How did you know?"

"Babe, I'm here every week. I know all the bartenders. Jake told me some hot, loud-mouth midget brunette was talkin' shit about me to an easy-looking blonde bimbo who kept eyein' me."

She finally looked up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of hurt or anger. "Oh Noah, you know I don't really think those things. Not anymore anyway. I just didn't want her … I mean she was … And I know you wouldn't cheat on me," her words were sure, but her voice wasn't, and he ran a hand down the back of her hair and kissed the tip of her nose to reassure her, "but I still just didn't want her anywhere near you. You don't know what she's like."

"Oh, I think I do. You tell me about her nearly every day, remember?"

Rachel continued, ignoring the statement that from anyone else would have sounded like a jab at how much she talks. "Besides," her voice was a bit more forceful now, "you're the one who insists on keeping our relationship a secret. If I had my way, I'd have walked straight into your arms and kissed you senseless so that _Katie_ ," she said the name in a whiny, mocking tone, "couldn't possibly doubt that you were off-limits."

"Well babe, I don't think that's going to be an issue anymore."

"What do you mean?" She cocked her head to the side to look at him curiously. He was surprised that she hadn't realized it already, but then, Rachel tended to live in a little post-sex bubble, truly able to make herself believe that they were the only two people in the world during those moments. He squeezed her a little closer, trying to extend their moment by even a few seconds. There was a reason he didn't want all their friends to know that they had gotten together early in the summer after graduation and been together since. Rachel had been extremely hesitant to even start the relationship, even though she never even tried to deny her feelings for him, because of the fact that she was going to New York and he wasn't. He knew that their nosy, meddling friends would only make the situation worse, so once he finally convinced her to 'be his girlfriend,' (in a moment like this immediately after a night almost as hot as this one) he also convinced her not to tell them.

"I mean, I don't think we're gonna be a secret much longer," he smirked and she continued to look at him curiously. She started to say something, but he covered her mouth with his index finger. "Shh, listen."

Rachel heard the pounding on the door for the first time, followed by Kurt's voice and Blaine's laughter. "Rachel! Puck! We know you're in there! Open the door this instant!" Kurt sounded like a petulant child.

His voice was quickly followed by Santana's. "Yeah Berry, you're not quiet in _any_ aspect of your life. Thanks for the show, by the way, that audio will give me some nice visuals to think about later. But seriously, get your hot Jew asses out here. Now." If Puck thought Rachel was embarrassed before, there was no word for what she was now. He kissed her one last time before pushing her up off him so he could stand as well.

"C'mon baby. Let's go greet our adoring audience." She groaned and pressed her face into his bicep. "Just think of it as practice."


End file.
